When we were young, the trajectory of life sounded so simple: “First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in a baby carriage” — but in these modern times, relationships are much more complicated than before.
The median age in India for a man to marry is around 26; for a woman, it’s when she’s approximately 22 years old (that’s compared to the 1960s when people typically married in their early 20s, according to the Research Data).
All this makes me wonder, since when ‘age’ played the major factor in deciding marriage? Shouldn’t we be more concerned about education, economics, personal development and childbearing goals? Here are some pros and cons of getting hitched at every age.
Marrying in your 20s
You’ve probably finished college or are on your way to getting your career off the ground by now.
At this age, you’re likely tying the knot with your college or high-school sweetheart — or even the guy you met on the first day of Kindergarten or became friends with after growing up together in the same neighborhood.
Pros: You and your groom are both young, so you can grow, change and move in the same direction as you grow together as a couple. You’ll be young parents if you choose to have children, and you’ll also be able to have a large family. Plus, when the kids get packed off to college, you’ll still only be in your 40s — which is young enough to embark on new adventures and rediscover yourselves as a couple, not just as other people’s parents.
Cons: When you’re this young, you might not know yourself very well — especially when it comes to what you want to do with your life and what you really believe in, both as an individual and as a couple. People’s values also change quite a bit after their idealistic, naive early 20s.
Marrying in 30s
These are the fabulous, fun days of discovery where you’re finding out who you really are as a woman, what you ultimately want to do with your life, and what becomes meaningful to you personally. Dating men in their 20s and 30s will make you feel like the belle of the ball. You’re a woman with many opportunities ahead of her. You’re secure with both your career and personal finances, and you’ve probably stopped thinking of your dates as “boys” — at this age, you’re definitely dating “men” (at least, that’s how you’re referring to and thinking about them, anyway).
Pros: You’re more likely to end up with someone who shares similar values as your own now that you’re more self-aware. You also have had enough time to party it up with your other single friends, travel and endure long hours at work before you “settle down” like an “old married couple” with an established social circle and career. Not only do you know who you are and what you want out of life, you also have a good sense of what you need in a romantic partner. You’re likely to pick someone who’ll be a good life partner for you over the long-term and have a solid career in place to boot. A woman over 30 is only 8% likely to get divorced, according to marriage research.
Cons: Economically, a woman’s earning power is at its highest if she marries at age 30 or later, according to the study published online. Marrying after your 30th birthday also adds an extra money to a woman’s earning power. One risk to consider: If you take a break to focus on child-rearing now, it could take a serious toll on your career. Contrary to popular wisdom, a woman’s fertility only begins to dip when she’s 28, according to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention. Between ages 30-34, a woman’s infertility issues are almost doubled from 8-15%, according to Management of the Infertile Woman but the good news is, you still have some time to deal with it if you find yourself struggling to conceive.
Marrying in your 40s
Some of us ladies are what we like to call “late bloomers.” It takes women like us a couple of jobs to discover what we really enjoy doing to earn a living, visiting a few countries to figure out where we want to live, and dating enough men to learn what we don’t want in a romantic partner. At midlife, you’re definitely an independent woman who likely boasts of having enjoyed a stellar career and a strong circle of friends to provide you with emotional support. Your dating pool has opened up to include divorced/widowed guys and single dads, and you feel like the belle of the ball all over again.